You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
