Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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