Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
