Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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