Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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