I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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