making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
