Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No subtext here. People are naked.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
