Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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