it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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