I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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