im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
