the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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