yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize