This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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