I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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