it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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