I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is