Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you're going for the gold here.

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  (906): i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage. (989): you're going for the gold here. http://tfl.nu/773u
  Replies (9) Good night (2717) Bad night (528)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.

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  (804): I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life. http://tfl.nu/74qx
  Replies (17) Good night (5637) Bad night (816)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?

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  (704): We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You? http://tfl.nu/j4cx
  Replies (17) Good night (7540) Bad night (1016)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (5041) Bad night (3304)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

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  (214): If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice. http://tfl.nu/19fo
  Replies (6) Good night (3340) Bad night (850)
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  (714): View more from California

  when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

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  (714): when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow http://tfl.nu/3ljm
  Replies (14) Good night (856) Bad night (5383)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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  (401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr
  Replies (13) Good night (1188) Bad night (2962)
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  (916): View more from California

  Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.

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  (916): Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours. http://tfl.nu/ckbp
  Replies (10) Good night (1812) Bad night (1006)
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  (+33): View more from France

  Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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  (+33): Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that. http://tfl.nu/zac1
  Replies (2) Good night (2370) Bad night (832)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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  (206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2129) Bad night (802)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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  (706): I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself http://tfl.nu/6gni
  Replies (15) Good night (1449) Bad night (529)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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  (815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (524)
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  (831): View more from California

  She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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  (831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z
  Replies (26) Good night (4882) Bad night (636)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.

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  (614): I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun. http://tfl.nu/8d32
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (244)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole

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  (615): I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole http://tfl.nu/7njw
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (471)

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