Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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  (510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy
  Replies (25) Good night (4261) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
  Replies (31) Good night (796) Bad night (3663)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back

  (914): View more from New York

  that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart

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  (908): i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back (914): that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart http://tfl.nu/d09e
  Replies (102) Good night (1639) Bad night (5477)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.

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  (925): So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/hust
  Replies (22) Good night (8784) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"

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  (303): good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia" http://tfl.nu/o7ku
  Replies (6) Good night (2105) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

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  (978): I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call. http://tfl.nu/ftpa
  Replies (18) Good night (2491) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

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  (+61): can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room http://tfl.nu/484e
  Replies (10) Good night (2828) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

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  (414): I just Tebowed the shit out of her. (336): Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb. http://tfl.nu/wxei
  Replies (10) Good night (2162) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.

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  (303): You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June. http://tfl.nu/llud
  Replies (13) Good night (2796) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there

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  (856): the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there http://tfl.nu/b4jk
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.

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  (207): This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand. http://tfl.nu/o8tl
  Replies (5) Good night (364) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No now I'm curious!

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  (412): My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already (1-412): No now I'm curious! http://tfl.nu/td3j
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.

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  (516): I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are. http://tfl.nu/mo3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1766) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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  (425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng
  Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (267)

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