He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
