the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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