what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
