I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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