Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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