so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
