Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
