I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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