If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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