There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
