you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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