she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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