ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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