I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
