remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
