my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
