He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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