please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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