i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
