I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
