I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it because I queefed?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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