I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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