they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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