You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
