She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
