margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize