he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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