carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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