after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
