We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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