I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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