Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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