i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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