BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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