i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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