It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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