you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
