found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
