So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
