Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
