The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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