She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize