We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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