no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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